The Price We Pay
by Misha
Summary: She came into their lives and nothing was ever the same again.


The Price We Pay   
By Misha 

Disclaimer- I don't own either the song "The Freshmen" or the characters of Days of Our Lives. They both belong to people with a lot more money of me and I'm not making money off this story, so please don't sue me. 

_Author's Notes- Okay, I don't know how I came up with this. But I did. It's dark and it's really depressing, but then again given the song I use, that can't be helped. I think you can guess the girl who I refer to is, but the narrator can be whoever you choose, it's up to you. There are really two choices, though one makes more sense than the other. ItÕs still up to you. Anyway, that's all, enjoy._

I still think of _her_ often. 

Of the blue-eyed girl who came into our lives and tore them apart. Of the pain she caused and the price she paid. 

We were so young and none of us were prepared for what happened. Maybe that's why I'm standing in the ruins, remembering what we had and how it fell apart. 

I think of her and of us, of all the pain and all the tragedy. 

I remember it all so clearly as if it was happening all over again. 

_When I was young I knew everything   
and she a punk who rarely ever took advice   
now I'm guilt stricken, sobbing with my head on the floor   
stop a baby's breath and a shoe full of rice_

When I met _her_, I believed I knew everything. 

So did she. _She_ wouldn't listen to me and I couldn't make her. She was stubborn, she did what she wanted, regardless of the consequences. 

Yet, I still feel so guilty. As if somehow, I should have prevented what happened. I should have done anything to prevent things from turning out the way they did. But I didn't, couldn't. 

Now she's gone and all I have is guilt and the remembrance of what might have been. 

Because you see, I did love her. 

_I can't be held responsible   
cause she was touching her face   
I won't be held responsible   
she fell in love in the first place_

She loved me too, but not enough. That was the problem. 

Yet it's not my fault. Not totally. 

She made her own choices, she did what she did. 

I won't take the blame for that. I'll take the blame for bringing _her_ into our lives, that was my choice, my decision, but I won't be held responsible for what happened in the end. 

It wasn't my fault. _She_ was the one who made her choice and I couldn't have stopped her, God knows I tried. 

Whatever happened, it was her who made the decision to do what she did. Not me. 

Never me. 

_For the life of me I cannot remember   
what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise   
for the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins   
we were merely freshmen_

We were so young. We never believed that the world could be so cruel. That the consequences could be so dire. 

But they were, in the end our youth destroyed us. Our youth brought us down and some of us paid the ultimate price. 

I never would have believed it possible. We were so young. Too young to die. 

But that's what's happened. In the end, some of us died. 

And some of were left, having to remember. Remember what happened. Remember that terrible ending that brought us down and tore us all apart. 

_My best friend took a week's vacation to forget her   
his girl took a week's worth of Valium and slept   
now he's guilt stricken sobbing with his head on the floor   
thinks about her now and how he never really wept he says_

Shawn suffers from that more than anyone. He feels so guilty, so horrified about what happened. 

**He** paid the biggest price for getting involved with _her_. _She_ bewitched him with those deep blue eyes of hers. 

He fell under _her_ spell, just like the rest of us. And when it happened, when _she_ ripped apart what was left of our shattered lives with one final act, he was shell-shocked. 

He didn't know what to do, he needed time to think. So he left, for some time on his own. 

When he came back, Belle was in her grave. Beautiful, blonde Belle who had loved Shawn all her life and who was devastated by what had happened. So devastated, that she took a week's worth of Valium and ended it all. 

Now Shawn has to live with the guilt. His eyes are empty as he talks about her and thinks about her. 

About both of them. About Belle and about _her_, about how _she_ tore our lives apart and destroyed us, just as she destroyed herself. 

_We've tried to wash our hands of all of this   
we never talk of our lacking relationships   
and how we're guilt stricken sobbing with our heads on the floor   
we fell through the ice when we tried not to slip, we'd say..._

There are only a few of us left now and all of us have scars because of her, but we try not to talk about it. We try to not even think about it. 

But sometimes, it's inevitable. 

Some of us blame _her_, but not all of us. Not all of us can put the blame solely on her, because it wasn't just _her_ fault. 

We let her in, we let _her_ into our sacred circle even though we knew the risk and she destroyed us. 

We were walking on thin ice and we knew it, but we thought we couldn't possibly fall. We were so confident. And we paid the price for that. We fell through the ice and some of us never made it out. 

_No I won't be held responsible   
cause she was touching her face   
I won't be held responsible   
she fell in love in the first place_

Still, I won't let myself take all the blame. Nor will I let myself totally blame _her_. I played my part in what happened, we all did. 

We let _her_ in, but _she_ made her own choices. She did what she did and she knew the consequences of her actions. 

She loved us, she made us love her, she hurt us, and then she tore us apart by leaving us. She destroyed what was left of us by taking her own life. 

That was **her** fault. _She_ made the choice to play with us, to use us, and then when things were getting to hard, she ended it all. _She_ took the easy way out. 

Except it wasn't easy at all. I know that. She suffered in the end. She died painfully, just like she lived her life. 

_For the life of me I cannot remember   
what made us think that we were wise and we'd never compromise   
for the life of me I cannot believe we'd ever die for these sins   
we were merely freshmen   
We were only freshmen..._

I'm older now and smarter, but I still can't truly believe what happened to us then. Or how we let it happen. 

We did, we saw the danger, yet we let her in. 

I could see by looking in her eyes that she was deadly, that she would destroy us, but I didn't care. I was caught up in her spell and I didn't care about the price I'd have to pay. 

Besides, I believed, we all believed, that we were above it. That we couldn't possibly have to pay for our sins. 

Yet, we did. We paid deep. Some of us paid with our lives, others of us paid with sanity, and the rest of us paid with whatever we had left. 

Because even those of us who survived, didn't really. We're not whole, we haven't been in years. Not since _her_. 

The End


End file.
